Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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