I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
