oh god the rape fog is back!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
