This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
