I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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