I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
