We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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