I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
This girl is more easily done than said...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
