Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
