these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
