Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I need help removing her.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
