Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize