According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
