I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
