Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
