I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dicks are not precious.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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