how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
