I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
