Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
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ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When are your genitals available?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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