i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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