No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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