trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
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I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My life is pants optional.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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