Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
