So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Let's get the cat blown out
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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