Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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