I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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