I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
