The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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