i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
