Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
