BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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