how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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