he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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