I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize