O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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