so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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