theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we're making bets on your personal life
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
