I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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