i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
