it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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