I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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