OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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