Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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