Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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