Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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