There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
People in love make me want to vomit
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up