he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
