I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
