Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
