Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
