Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
