I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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