I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
