hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
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when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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