The brown eye won't let me do that either.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
