Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
